I have always been hesitant to identify myself as an artist because I will go through long droughts without any productivity. It is very easy to get caught up in the things around you; your job, your finances, relationships, home, piles of laundry (in truth, it can be hard to be an adult) and all of these noises in my head will block my creativity. Like most artists, I work when I am in extremes... I make art when I'm seriously down and dark and I produce fervently when I am positive and riding an optimism wave. Moments of boredom, inert or blank times are just that... blank pages I will shuffle to the bottom of the pile and ignore. And in all honesty, time sometimes travels very quickly.
Over this last year there have been some comments that have imprinted themselves in my mind. A fresh, yet close, friend of mine mentioned that she had known me for almost a year and hadn't seen me create anything. "I've seen your art, but I have not seen you draw any art since I have known you." Until she had mentioned it, I was quite content with ignoring the giant elephant in the room.
The other comment came from an old friend. A group came to visit me this October for my 30th birthday. In college they were used to me traveling with a plethora of art supplies just in case creativity sparked. These were the friends that always questioned why my college degrees were in science as opposed to art. During their visit, we sat down at my favorite bar and I grabbed a couple of coasters to doodle on. I was inspired by their energy and love. Within 45 minutes I had produced three coasters; one for each of them.
Being old friends, they are able to talk to me very frankly. Petar, who I have known for twelve years, looked at me and simply said, "You are constipated with art." Damn, that comment warranted a significant time with introspection.
OK, so I need to draw... this is apparent. How to begin? I started going back to Trapeze Studio where I have been participating in life drawing for about five years. The group of people that frequent there are very awesome people, all with differing levels of skill. I made myself go even when I was so uninspired that I didn't want to leave the house. Making it a more consistent practice, I was trying to "catch" some creative energy from the artists there.
Outside of that space, I still didn't have the confidence to use a canvas and just begin creating finished pieces. I knew that that would be intimidating. But bar coasters are pretty far from intimidating. I started doodling on coasters until my fingers remembered how to express with pen and my brain remembered how to fill a blank space. Friends started to ask if they could keep the coasters, which inspired me to produce more. Honestly, without the support and excitation of my friends, I would not have been able to jump-start my creative expression again.
Working in bars gave me access to instant feedback, which was also motivating. My friends were very excited to see me working again, but doodling at a bar left me open to comments from bystanders too. Intrigue from strangers is a very good place to get feedback. Selling a quick doodle when you are sitting in a bar, even if all it does it score you another round of beer, is surprising... and it makes you feel good about what you create.
I don't know if anything is going to come from this,but I'm going to try. I have received so much support and positive feedback that I feel inspired to continue. I am attempting to get a good collection going so I can see if there is any interest in an art show. I am also contemplating doing flea-markets or trade shows. Most recently, I was gifted a giant stack of unused coasters. This amazingly thoughtful, loving and supportive gift is inspiration in itself. People are so excited for the work I have been doing that they are bringing me new supplies!
To you these may be just coasters, and that is fine. But for me, this is a catalyst and there will be many more exciting things to come! A huge thank you to everyone for encouraging me to continue, to those who are already "book marking" their favorites, and to those who come over and create coaster art with me. You are all amazing people!
